Smudge Hippo is technically a lawn bowls player. In practice, she’s far more invested in the intervals. A blanket on the grass, flask of tea nearby, and a gentle hum from the scorekeeper’s radio – that’s her idea of sporting perfection.

She insists the secret to accuracy is a properly brewed cuppa and constant breaks. Between ends, she offers running commentary from her deckchair, delivered in tones so calm they could be classed as mindfulness training!

Smudge Lamb often joins her for the sunshine, though neither can remember who’s winning...